(DrConway^) If I could get free colocation I'd put a server box together in no time flat and ram it in :P
(Skawt) DrC likes to ram it in a lot.
* DrConway^ sighs
(Laichzeit) heh, whats the big deal with a used realdoll. Im sure you wouldnt shit in your pants if every chick you screwed wasnt a virgin :p
(schmoe) Battlefield Earth was good.
(schmoe) seriously
(SneakyMat) I'm not strong enough to beat up black people in real life... so I play this game and GTA: San Andreas
(bigboi) Hey I accidentally formatted the wrong drive. Anyway to recover my data?
([DNN]) DrudgeReport: HAPPY NEW YEAR: N KOREA WARNS OF NUKE SHOWDOWN - http://www.washtimes.com/upi-breaking/20050102-123846-1239r.htm
(tokenshi) i usually don't let the girls know i'm in the mood until they're on the ground, gagged and bound
(EazyCheez) DrConway_: my testicles are out of my underwear and I can't get 'em back in
(tokenshi) linux for the most part is just one giant f'n text file
(Karianna) The Yugo was the first car to get a Did Not Finish rating for the Buyer's Quality checks.
(Karianna) But hey, it must be cool to have a car that you can double its value by filling the gas tank.
(Karianna) Take a Coke can and stab it several times with a large hunting knife, then set it on fire. Thats a Geo in a 15mph accident.=)
(tonkenshi) i need to one up goatse
([DNN]) Yahoo-Tsunami: Crocodiles stalk tsunami survivors in Indian Ocean islands (AFP) - http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/asiatsunami/*http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/afp/20050103/wl_sthasia_afp/asiaquakeindiaandamancrocs
(drg-) i was trying to show her a tsunami video and she said she didn't care about them, that really peeved me off.
(FishBulb) drg: well, i'd suggest posting pics of her on the net and saying 'see, this is what its like to be a tsunami'
(NegaDuk) no way. fuck them while they're pregnant so you can do 2 people at the same time!
(RvLeshrac) The Yu-Gi-Oh Online chat filter filters out "loo"
(BitS) that stats url links to my profile, which I forgot to remove the nudie pics from :(
(Karianna) Animal smuggling is a billion dollar a year business, and not just for the asian food market. :)
(Karianna) ZeXio, you really need to stick to looking at J-Lo's ass and stop watching the cgi snake.
(Knighted_) Every day I'd put on some black robes, visit the local humane society, and have my snake cull the forsaken cats
(BitS) does anyone live on the north coast?
(Zharradan) north is either dense rainforest, or arid desert
(Zharradan) There is Darwin, which has a population of 3.5
(BitS) 3.5 people?
(Zharradan) yeah
(Zharradan) One guy lost an arm and a leg in a cyclone 30 years ago
(Zharradan) so he only counts for half
(Freddie) Zharradan: he should have nailed them down
(NegaDuk) Freddie: http://data.4chan.org/h/src/1104806057193.jpg
(Freddie) so not clicking
(Freddie) there's enough weird shit on /w/ and /s/ for me
(blitzoid) Freddie: DON'T DO IT
(blitzoid) NegaDuk: Series plz
(BitS) oh you fucking blogger
(Knighted_) BitS: It's not a blog. I don't say anything about my feelings or who i hate or anything
(OlEnglish) everybody's a white bald guy on that bbs documentary
(walrus2) SOFIA, Bulgaria (AP) - Incredulous doctors made five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914, far above the usual life-threatening range, police and doctors said Tuesday.
(cyberdyne) *** Thailand has quit irc (Excess flood)
(RvLeshrac) I suppose it would be too much to hope for that someone in here might want the Yu-Gi-Oh Online beta client, eh?
(ChaosMage) BitS likes me now
(gojumobil) hey has anyone ever used a jumper on a cpu
(BitS) I'm gay and proud of it! This is my coming out party!!! DrConway, I'm looking at you!
([DNN]) DrudgeReport: A ONE AND A TWO: LAWRENCE WELK PERFOMER TO SING JOHN ASHCROFT-PENNED SONG AT INAUGURAL... - http://www.suntimes.com/output/elect/hastert05.html
([DNN]) DrudgeReport: FEDS SEARCH FOR MIDDLE EASTERN MAN LOOKING FOR MCVEIGH FERTILIZER...
(hiryu_) Ok, so i gots to ask...is it wrong to beat off while talking to a female friend on the phone and not letting her know?
(Skawt) seymour - my 20" LCD laughs at your puny, shriveled up little 17" LCD
(Asimov) just try to imagine 100 people in here an hour typing !find and @find while we try to have a mature (/me tries to keep from falling out of his chair laughing) disucssion
(raiden24) when I was way younger I used to pretend I was a girl and go into #teensex, I would play along for awhile and then tell them ooops :). or along those lines, never heard another line.
([DNN]) 120-year-old tortoise adopts stray baby hippo - http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=143&art_id=qw1105023422648B251
(Karianna) "Does your cum dribble out, and you wish it shot out?"
(Karianna) Why... yes!
-Asimov- [Never\#oldwarez] i mean, talking about sex in front on your mom?
-Asimov- [Never\#oldwarez] i may be 32, but there are things i say here i wouldn't say to her
-BitS- [Wallop\#oldwarez] my girlfriend talks about sex with ME in WITH her mom, in front of me
-BitS- [Wallop\#oldwarez] sex with me to her mom
(wendel) oh great now i'm the donkey ball guy
(wendel) atarax came to hang out of me out of nowhere
(Mutiny) having three lesbians drop by your house late at night would be a fantasy for most men, but when it happened to me just 5 minutes ago it was an annoyance.
(BitParity) so if you fuck the real doll too hard, the hair slips off, and you see this large metal hook stickin out of the "girls" head
(tokenshi) i'm waiting for the following URL: http://allafrica.com/diesofaids.html
(Karianna) "Please estimate the consistency of your fecal matter, in order to approximate the usage and pressure of water."
([DNN]) TheRegister: Microsoft's Ballmer beat off Asian genital challenge - http://go.theregister.com/feed/2005/01/07/ballmer_nintendo_ceo/
(Pluton_) I tried buying underpants from the store but they kicked me out after i tried them all on :(
-dene- [SWallOp\#oldwarez] http://troutlake.net/~dene/pics/pirate_dane.jpg
(Asimov) hahahahah
(Asimov) dene++
(dene) haha
(dene) kat made it for me
(`Freedom) i married her to shut her the hell up
(Asimov) a guy giving me head would make my dick go soft, i'm almost positive
(Asimov) maybe not if i was _REAL_ drunk or _REAL_ fucked up
(Asimov) but it wouldn't be a turn on by any means
(sarojin) Asimov: Physical stimulation beats disgust every time :P
(Mutiny) i used to have this crush on a bartender i knew a couple days ago she told me she enjoyed being fisted fucking crush EVAPORATED.
(Helm) Mutiny: fucking her would be like feeding a tic tac to a whale..
(BitS) no go out, and get lives you useless fuckers
(BitS) s/no/now/
(BitS) god
(BitS) FAILED
* Helm-pda(~helm@*.mobile.attwireless.net) has joined #Oldwarez
(Helm-pda) i hope Oceans Twelve doesnt suck
(Helm-pda) the milf wanted to see white noise
(Asimov) Helm: it does
(Helm-pda) crap
(Asimov) Helm: i watched a few minutes of it and turned it off
(Asimov) :/
(Helm-pda) oh well!
(Asimov) maybe it got better later
(Helm-pda) well..the milf is munching on popcorn..seems happy
(Helm-pda) all is good
(Asimov) hahah, cool
(Asimov) you're at the movies now?
(Helm-pda) yup
(Asimov) with your gf
(Asimov) on your pda
(Asimov) on irc
(Helm-pda) yup
(Helm-pda) yup
(Asimov) you're a fuckhead, give her a kiss and tell her that at least somebody on irc has the manners to pay attention to their date :P
(Helm-pda) lol
(Helm-pda) =)
(Helm-pda) the milf understands
(Asimov) manboobs--
(SabrWork) hey
(SabrWork) don't knock em till you've sucked em
(SabrWork) Asimov: so, hows...them Raiders?
(Asimov) i don't watch baseball
(cyberdyn_) I still use MSIE.
* cyberdy_e [~cyberdyne@*] has joined #oldwarez
* SignOff cyberdy_e: #oldwarez (Remote host closed the connection)
(Mutiny) A French civilian staff member took pornographic photos of young girls performing sex acts and is facing prosecution in France after the U.N. sent him home.
(Mutiny) ^^^^^^^ totallyillegalcongobushbitches.com
(Mutiny) "watch these starving congese refugees FUCK and SUCK for eggs and milk packets!"
(Mutiny) you see genocidic sexual violence i see business opportunity.
(akira2) bitz: weed smoke can bring dead birds back from the dead dude...harmful?? impossible
(EazyCheez) Tahben: AHHH! Like I would be most likely. Two pumps at maximum in a sweet, sweet snatch like yours probably is (hell, girl, don't deny this kind of talk, it's a double standard if you do) and *splort*
(EazyCheez) Peccavi: oh you've been banned? Why the fuck would anyone ban you? you're just as invaluable to this channel as I.
(Karianna) The closest you get to smelling trees in most places in the US is the air freshener they put in your car after detailing.
(debauched) whats bukkake?
(Hunam) after that MPAA Cease and desist i'm a pussy.
(BitS) no
(BitS) you were a pussy beforehand
(debauched) on that 24 show, that dude stays awake for all 24 hours? Does he take pills?
(BitS) well, thats almost as bad as pluton
(BitS) pluton would say 'I can't get linux to run on XXX :('
(rolo) yeah but then ... what do you do next?
(rolo) uninstall and listen to your music on your regular iPod
(BitS) rolo: put whatever was on it originally back to have a useful device
(BitS) rolo: or sit there and be like 'I wish someone would port xmms to linux for my ipod so I can listen to music'
(NegaDuk) drgwrk: let's play "hey, you! pikachu!" and scream profanity at it
(JLsoft) NegaDuk: Eazy might like www.carstuckgirls.com
(NegaDuk) JLsoft: STOP USING THE INTERNET
([DNN]) Govt MILF should punish men in attack - http://www.mb.com.ph/MTNN2005011226211.html
(BitS) psykoz_: would you like for me to point out that )I( ported rdesktop to OSX?
(Helm) NegaDuk: little do you know.. i've irc'd from a public toilet, taking a huge dump and carried on conversation with you about what you were having for dinner
(BitS) z3uS: I don't want A guy
(BitS) z3uS: I want YOU
* z3uS flops it out for BitS... you want me... here I am... enjoy... oh, and watch the teeth.
(BitS) I'd almost bet money that we lose more in the US than we do in Iraq on a daily basis (military personal)
(BitS) DONUT MEANTION BAGELS!
(BitS) YouNoWho: I've answered modems manually to the point that they believe they are connected
(Vehementi) holy christ what the fuck, my workplace has put light hot chocolate in the rich hot chocolate box. YOU DO NOT FUCKING DO SUCH THINGS
([DNN]) DrudgeReport: BEATING OF SATANIST PROMPTS HATE CRIME CHARGES... - http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/12/nyregion/12attack.html?ei=5006&en=873c2a5018b070a9&ex=1106110800&partner=ALTAVISTA1&pagewanted=print&position=
(EazyCheez) NegaDuk: perhaps on both points. But (almost) every time I go to EB Games, I see a girl who makes me forget about Tahben... God DAMN the girl is hot, sweet, funny, AND she's into video/computer games! Denise is her name. She works there! And she never seemsto mind me staring at her modest cleavage (she's probly a C-cup)
(BitS) let me enlighten you all
(BitS) I'm superior
(BitS) to all of you
(BitS) move along
(blitzoid) And now, here's akira2 with the blackie weather report.
(akira2) IZ GON RAIN
(kneer0w) i need help in acquainting a 1 1/2 year old cat with a 2 1/2 month old puppy. (... how?)
(JLsoft) Duct tape.
(NegaDuk) JLsoft: i was at walmart the other day, and i saw a bunch of new pokemon dvd's and said "wtmf, i don't recognize any of these"
(debauched) wtf was dungeons and dragons anyway? a mud?
(Livia) my cats are throwing themselves at the bedroom door :P
(BitS) so open it
(Livia) Its more amusing to listen to them crashing.
(haljordan) Livia: what if they get a kitty concussion or something
(Livia) haljordan, they're cats... they're already mostly brain dead.
* KeiserSoz (ks@beep-beep-beep.BEEEP-BEEEP-BEEEP.beep-beep-beep.net) has joined #Oldwarez
(EazyCheez) why is Tokenshi heading to Chinksville... Where is Chinksville?
(Skawt_) The wheelchair is the only part of a vegetable you can't eat
(Skawt_) BitS - apparently your prison bitch name is Tush Taster
(Freddie) Skawt_: which is funny, since he likes licking ass
(Mutiny) i don't care what anybody says-- spam is delicious
(Karianna) Its not the taste that bothers people, its the fact that its not identifiable as any particular meat. Theres cow, horse, pig, chicken, donkey, rat...
(Karianna) and that mysterious gel substance that they use to preserve it, I think thats actually the soft tissue that is around the brain of hedgehogs.
(Mutiny) there's a spot on this piece of spam where i cooked it a little too long and the surface got charred, but some of the char scraped off to reveal the pink meat underneat. it looks just like a black woman's vagina.
(variant) sell it on ebay
(FS-Ninja_) she likes the cock
(FS-Ninja_) tells all her friends that its big
(crispana) whoa she lies for you?
(Skawt) Yeah, well, my employer has one of the largest pay gay porn sites on the net
(EazyCheez) wonder if any bouncers of bars who are LotR nuts have pulled a Gandalf (as he stood on the Bridge of Khazad-dum) and screamed, "YOUUUUUUUUU SHALL NOT PASS!"
(NegaDuk) RvLeshrac: is puzzle bobble named the same in the us? i.e. bust a move 4 is puzzle bobble 4?
([DNN]) Pentagon's gay weapon - http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1245741.html
(Sprawl^) I play the sims online for about 8 hours a day 6 days a week
(BitSZ) sagtop: its not a web came
(Tahben) I need to go give the cat an enema. bbiab
* leooo (leo@got.the.cronic.in.vansterdam.org) has joined #Oldwarez
(Asimov) devinfo: google "sheep vagina" picture
(EazyCheez) now a rather sensitive question: is masturbation considered a viable form of exercise? I heard that it can burn up to 150 calories an hour, if you can um, keep it up that long
(debauched) stinger would need a hatch like an airliner door to plug his butt
(YouNoWho) I'd hate to sit in that emergency exit row :(
(sarojin) Hey! I'm the goatse man. I stretch ass like no one can. In the hole where I go poop, I can fit a can of soup.
(sarojin) When people tell me to go shove it, they don't know how much I love it.
(d0gZpAw) Freddie: i would still do her if she shaved her head.. maybe i'm just horny
* sarojin has left #oldwarez (PISS FIGHT (HANDING OUT DIXIE CUPS AND SPLASH GUARDS))
(Karianna) M3 translates to "I needed a brick shaped penis, because I don't have a regular one." :)
(GigiDawg) i wanna get a brand new m3 in 3-4 years
(NegaDuk) `Freedom: anyone who appreciates cars sucks cock anyway. case in point: conway and karianna
(Skawt) Now the real trick is having a great sauce that goes on the meat
(Skawt) and potatoes
(z3uS) NegaDuk: are you legally blind or just fucking stupid?
(public) i am so fat
(NegaDuk) bits: WHOAWHOAWHOA
(NegaDuk) bits: there's a WEST virginia?
(RastaJew) I wonder how hard it is to set fire to a plane
(ChaosMage) Nega: I didn't say they were long, just hard
(GigiDawg) BitS i was a national q2 champ :)..back in the day
(Zexio) walrus0: do you have those tight lycras that show off your package?
(NegaDuk) system of a down is like if #oldwarez had a band, and chaosmage wrote the music
(cyberdyne) I'm rather glad I have [DNN] on ignore, or else I would have been flooded with all this tsunami news.
(NightStar) EazyCheez: Yes, but she's in Italy, and I'm in the US, and nobody in this channel has a snowball's chance in hell of finger fucking her shadow.
(EazyCheez) Nor do I mean to cause any alarm or apprehension. I'M A BUNNY RABBIT.
(YouNoWho) Jesus. That WOW audio stuff really works. It's not just a load of hooey. Two crappy piece of shit computer speakers, turn on that WOW stuff and I'm hearing fucking spaceships flying out of my closet.
(kbk```) SkoorbiuS, i went to #bearcave as u told me but, i guess it was the wrong # to be in. the game i am after is supposed to be oldwarez (2002 i guess) so this is why i came here. unless i am wrong i should look for old releases in this channel. plz correct me if i am wrong. btw is there a problem with TheMonkey? i am not able to get the list...
([Flack]) Terrible twos started about a month before he turned two and have been going strong ever since. Ever been hit with an Atari paddle in the back of the head? Mother fuckers hurt, real bad.
(ChaosMage) m1rr0r: Turns out that disc I was testing was a PAL release
(ChaosMage) I didn't know what PAL was at the time
(Pluton) I still cant believe i only got charged 4 cents for this cashmere scarf.
(YouNoWho) I have no idea what DrC looks like but in my mind I imagine something like David Cross
(akira2) poor people like to kill. plain and simple.
(akira2) i mean look at who is in our armed forces.
(BitSZ) I'm an idiot
(Tahben) wow. scandisk on 5tb takes a long time.
(BitSZ) who needs enemies to remind you of the low points in your life
(BitSZ) thats what FRIENDS ARE FOR!
(BitSZ) assholes :P
(helixblue) http://toadstool.se/p/1998/04/05-Milwaukee,WI-Picking_up_Leigh/dcp00984.jpg
(BigBrotha) 1. BitS 1176 2. ToiletDuk 698 3. Asimov 444
(kneer0w) man, why am i talking so much in here these days
(BitSZ) kneer0w: the scores are bad actaully
(BitSZ) I'm not #1
(BitSZ) :)
(JLsoft) Those sneaky Japs, with their complicated shoes and fancy gestures.
(akira2) you know..i'd never admit it..even if i did try dickgirls ever in my future drunken hedonistic life
(EazyCheez) Most times I finish in less than 20 strokes, such is my piety.
([DNN]) Mortar and missile, with love from Pakistan - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/995068.cms
(io-) man chicks are fun dude
(Pluton) holy shit. My mom has some type of tissue falling out of her vagina. She thinks it is her bladder. Would this have anything to do with her not taking hormones all of these years? Her hysterectomy was at 45 years old and she also gave birth to 10 children.
(RvLeshrac) korosu: Is #oldwarez an appropriate place for a small child?
(Karianna) RvLeshrac, that depends on who is fucking it.
(akira2) i really should open my own medical malpractice
(psykoz) BitS, he can't keep up with windows while there's a tomato crisis going on, i'm sure his resources have been heavily expendedat schlotzkys
(RvLeshrac) psykoz: Tomato crisis is over, fag.
(RvLeshrac) psykoz: They're back down to $15/case
(NegaDuk) we're gay lovers
(drgwrk) you'd be like, "ha ha! i am the in the lead" then you look in front of you, donkey kong is dropping bananas out of his ass.
(drgwrk) cheating AI is the bloodstream of Mario Kart
(BitS) yea, I'm gonna go use the restroom
(sagtop) hope everything comes out ok
(jaargon) you have a rack or something? got a pic?
([DNN]) Aid groups warn on US pullout - http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/01/21/asia.tsunami.us.ap/
(drgwrk-) hadji: i suck cock msg me for price list
(wendel) its legal to fuck donkeys in mexico?
(ToiletDuk) there's something humbling about being beaten by ChaosMage
(ralph2) Anything that smells like pussy is fine with me.
(Mutiny) i wake up, smoke a bowk, and start reading "cell architecture explained." after about half an hour i find that i've got my boxers around my ankles and some how subconsciously i started masturbating while reading about the cell processor.
(JLsoft) -=) (notme-) Hey guys, did you ever consider what would happen if Star Trek perchance waged war with Star Wars? Who do you think might win such a conflict and why?
(notme-) jlsoft: I would never say something that trekkie
(notme-) but who would win anyway?
(kneer0w) look at you, ChaosMage. you're battling if goofy said 'gawrsh' or 'gorsh'.
(Turtleboy) wtf is stinger?
(NegaDuk) when i beat off to stinger, it's purely an affirmation of my heterosexuality
(hirogen) dont be brain washed bywhat u c on tv though
(BitS) I can jerk off 15 minutes before fucking and still not last long :(
(BitS) I think I'm allowed to smoke pot now
(BitS) or rather, 'its not on the list of things that shes concerned with'
(Karianna) Your small penis and lack of stamina are more of a concern? :)
(Peccavi) i wonder if data is programmed in pleasing another man
(Peccavi) i'd let an android blow me
(LrdZombie) what the hell is a CTCP Ping for?
(RvLeshrac) NegaDuk: We need those new dresses.
(DJH_) hey, the occasional skidmark is not a sign of incompetence
(Demogorgo) does celeron mean something en espanol
(DrConway_) "Counter-revolutionary rebels arrested for destruction of Cuba's only XP service pack 2 CD"
(Knighted) kneer0x: I've already got some blisters and blood on my bachi!
(Knighted) my arms feel like i'm 14 and jerking off twelve times a day
(SleepyMat) don't you hate it when you're mid-stroke and a girl calls and you have to put the papping on hold?
(akira2) SleepyMat: you mean you stop?
(EazyCheez) fuck, the people of #quake are harassing me just for being myself
(EazyCheez) what the fuck are they on
(Asimov) ~90wpm witout error
(austinatt) new to this channel, how does it work?
(DJH_) austinatt: you make uninformed comments about politics and the state of the world, others argue from equally uninformed positions and eventually you get banned for disagreeing with BitS.
(public-) kick me with 1 click!
(FishBulb) public: i can't... i... i love you
(Zexio) EazyCheez: lets start with something EASY... LOVE
(EazyCheez) Zexio, I'll play your word association game, but beware that any answer I give is likely to be 'penis'
(public) my ass smells so bad
(Hunam) DrConway: and I've been working out a lot lately
(TreeSquid) Mutiny: Like, when its windy, can you put on rollerskates, pull your pants down, and sail around?
(Craig--) lets talk about goatse or something
(JLsoft) (Craig--) Let's talk about go-at-seeeeee
(JLsoft) (Craig--) Let's talk about you and meeee
(Karianna) I met my boss for the first time yesterday.
(\Asimov) Karianna: hah, how long has he/she been your boss?
(Karianna) Since 99.
(ChaosMage) games on floppies suck
(beshku) DrConway: you like bumfucking?
(DrConway_) beshku: Well, I AM a homosexual.
(beshku) DrConway: msg me private.. asap.
(Livia) Knowing Bank of America, they probably charged you 2.50 to return your money.
(DrConway_) It still feels weird to say I can legally get married now
(wendel) DrConway: so who proposes? the catcher or the pitcher?
(crispana) always amusing when you read an email that has the sentence 'Can we please contact the customer once he gets out of prison?' in it.
(YouNoWho) If some little kid ever asks me how a mirror works I'll just tell him it's his twin brother
(NegaDuk) JLsoft: http://excaliburfilms.com/AdultDVD/202904D1+Midget+Delight+dvd.htm (-- want?
(RvLeshrac) kneer0w: There's no point to an RE movie if they don't spend half of it trying to figure out how to fit four clips of ammoand a typewriter ribbon into their pockets.
(NightStar) i get the registration wesendyouadswegetmoney crap, but fucking paying real money for online news, i'd rather get a news paper, then i can wipe my ass when i'm done.
(NightStar) Say, do you hear sirens?
(Skawt) That's tinnitus.
(Demogorgo) it kinda sucks to be me